chibi_reeni's Xanga

Friday, February 29, 2008

Fri, 29 Feb 2008 16:38:22 GMT

I don't kno how to say things.. its hard to use xanga to express my feelings because i begin to want to write about Everything i'm feeling and start to forget that it could come back and haunt me if i speak my mind. Recently, things more than i can handle have been happening. At first leaving me confused, debating, accepting, debating again, then horrible, and finally relieved. o yea, btw, its a guy. Chances like these don't come often, that's why i was so undecisive. But when your expect to like someone, it just makes it 100 times harder and your own feelings get clouded by all those thoughts. Do 'you' really know what it is to like somone? Because I haven't really felt it yet. Its not that i don't want a relationship.. but i just don't feel the SPARK. the butterflies..and nervous feeling when they walk through the door. Is that asking for too much..

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Thu, 27 Dec 2007 15:56:22 GMT

going to Hong Kong tommorrow. yippee!
come back.. with more pictures, memories, clothes, new look~
3 week escape, and its back at Rutgers again -.-
getting a lil sick of it... i really wanna meet some new people... *wink wink*
a new semester, is another oppurtunity

Monday, December 10, 2007

Mon, 10 Dec 2007 21:47:51 GMT

Havent updated since august..lazy bum -_-. Always forget to write journals, when i have classes and stuff. im hardcore facebook tho XP

Went to New York Anime Convention this weekend, Dec 8, 2007~ pictures can explain all~

My cosplay: Me as Nana Komatsu, Yana as Nana Ostuka from Manga&Anime: NANA

- inspired by Live Action Movie

I'd never thought i'd cosplay. I always see pictures, and hear about making their own costume. I know thats something I don't know how to do or even try but i think its really cool. ever since the first convention i went to because Cathy (my j-rocker buddy) was going, MANGANEXT 2007 in October

L& me as Amane Misa

I am addicting to it and finding more Lolita looks ^___^ Its so cute and adorable. And i love Japanese Culture. If i lived in japan, i'd probably be one of those street walkers in the Harajuku District dressing in lolita and punk fashion. XD~ Jus so unique and expressive~ be something different for one day. i'm not very good, i just give it a try and have some fun :)

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Sat, 25 Aug 2007 01:44:32 GMT

summer over. moving back to school 8/29. excited for the new year. so much ahead. sec of rutgers cantonese club, fun classes with my friends, boys?, new dorming~

what a great way to end the summer. with friends. as schoolgirls XD i luv this gang. we can do something crazy just because its fun and we stick together~ wen else can u cosplay a bit and walk on the streets of new york! ♡ sure..we attracted perverts, got some weird stares and whistles. but thats wat makes it funny :) [But fyi: we did it because we're taking japanese sticky pics in chinatown XD pwahah]

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Wed, 01 Aug 2007 16:46:07 GMT

went clubbing?! CLUB FLOW

first time for everything. with the davidson's. danielle's birthday. dancing with my friends. i see people..asian girls and guys all around. wen did people start dancing so dirty. i don't see myself as a girl anyone would come up to and ask to dance. We had to leave by 1am to catch the last train. and by 12:30pm hopeful for something to happen but just enjoying the night. then...someone comes up behind me. i wont get into details, but it was shocking. crazy thoughts running through my head and what should i do to not embarrass myself. After a while, i tried enough >.< and got away. phew. it got a lil too hot and heavy for me =O then not even a minute another guy came behind me. wt..!? its funny and nervous at the same time. I should have some fun and live a lil rite? but, i'll always be an innocent shy girl :)

oh! the more i think about it, the more i get attached. don't fall for it. it could never happen. could it?

possibly a chance to go to Hong Kong for winter break??? tag along with my aunt. michelle might come to. Now that i'm considering it, im getting more and more excited. This may be the last oppurtunity in a long long time to come (future internships, jobs, etc!) and i would be visiting sites in china too, Peking. EXCITED!

Monday, July 09, 2007

Mon, 09 Jul 2007 15:35:53 GMT

Twins Live in Concert - USA Atlantic City. N.J. Sept 23rd 2007
Special Guests: Sun Boy'z

Twins Concert
Date: Sunday, September 23, 2007
Time: 1:00 AM / 2:00 PM EST
Venue: Trump Taj Mahal Casino Resort
Prices: $48, $68, $88, $118 (All Tax Included)

I want to gather people to go with me! I have it planned nicely in my head, but will it work out >.<

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Sat, 16 Jun 2007 02:42:05 GMT

another year.

last one as a teenager.

make the most of it. before i really feel like a responsible old adult.

----

empty

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Tue, 15 May 2007 17:53:55 GMT

new layout. had old one for a year. first time i didnt put it together myself though. too lazy. i just tweaked this one a bit

________________________________________________________________________

i've been watching dramas/animes and it keeps coming up~

"its better to regret something you did than to regret something you didn't do."

"if i'm going to regret it if i dont' do anything, i'd rather regret having done something instead."

"You’re afraid that it might fail?

Just treat it as a fall.

You’ll be fine after you stand up again.

Just smile and there’s nothing you can’t overcome."

"It’ll be great if I succeed but if I fail, I’ll just treat it as another embarrassment.

At least, I’ll have tried."

"why should you take this risk and put yourself through embarrassment?

Shouldn’t you think this through more clearly?"

"There’s nothing to think about.

I’m only taking a chance on it.

If I don’t try, how would I know that I’ll fail?"

and of course, they all succeeded. it's magical tv world after all. Even if it was a failure, IT IS better to have tried. You can feel relieved knowing the answer. You can finally stop racking your brain over it. agreeable. There's so many decisions. I'm scared i'll regret what i do.. my major, confession, or being spontaneous. thats why i'm left undecisive all the time. stuck at the crossroad. stewing over my own thoughts.

:::: I wanted to be free of worry and confusing-ness. for ex., i followed this advice. Took a risk. But turns out, What I did, has ended up making me feel worse than i started. I thought it would give me more courage in the future, a guinea pig :P But instead the result taught me it is better to keep my mouth shut and let time take its place or someone else take initiative.

it made me constant worrying if i give the wrong impression and questioning whether their actions and/or lack of actions was due to my 'risk'. But i think they don't realize it at all and i am overthinking things yet again! I can't handle pressure. pressure that i had created for myself. Why not just give up? Simply, i can't stand not being on good terms with someone. If somethings wrong, i just have to fix it! but its hard to do anything, if they dont care. makes me feel that they don't like me. but again, i'm alone in these thoughts.

wish i could go back in time. back to it's first week. new, exciting, & friendly. time goes on and the the fun goes away...

First two months of college had so much going on, but after a while, I am bored. i need something new. something to take my mind off any stress...

Friday, May 11, 2007

Fri, 11 May 2007 01:00:25 GMT

(as of june 10th)

summer `07

to do:

[ ] lose freshman weight. really badly. (-6 lbs)

[ ] watch the load of stuff i have, and downloaded [TVB, anime, kdrama/movies]

[ ] make some $$$ (stop&shop cashier)

[ ] do my scrapbook (finish HK, starting Rutgers)

[ ] draw again! maybe make some good artwork i could put on the walls

[ ] refresh my chinese & japanese (forgeting already ><)

[ ] buy camera (researching)

[ ] fix schedule (final?)

[ ] new and improved. gain a lil courage. ready to face my fears in college again.

[ ] chinese brush painting

[ ] read (finished pride&pred, reading HP)

Monday, April 30, 2007

Mon, 30 Apr 2007 21:00:58 GMT

Never thought it would happen to me, well, at least a very slim chance. I woke up and realized my purse that i hung on the bed post next to my head, WAS GONE?! I didn't understand. I searched all over my room. It wasn't my roomate. But what happen?? I had to go out, so i'll deal with it later. Did someone come in my room and steal it? who would be that retarted if i right in the room??! I do have some recollection that i woke up around 7ish cuz i 'thought?' i heard a door close..but maybe imagining it? When i get back to mattia i hear that a lot of people got their stuff stolen. Wallets, purses, ipods, money. OMG. so i'm not crazy. I'm so angry. I always assumed that if i'm in the room i didnt have to worry about locking my door at night. Me and my roomate never minded. I thought i was safe and felt comfortable being in mattia. The thing is....

last night around 1ish.. i hear out my door a guy say 'who's in here' and just OPENED my door?! wtf?.. who does that?.. invasion of privacy and don't even knock. he's like 'hi.' 'do you kno where nelson is?' its some gangter looking white guy. -_- So i hear that there was a white guy and black guy that was roaming around mattia all night/morning. We think we have a lead. One of them is friend of someone on my floor, nelson. And the other guy Nelson says he doenst even know. They were like sleeping or somehting, and he didnt want to mess with them. And apparently they left before we got to question them. And there's nothing we can do about it??.. OMG.. these people.

I just kno it!.. its that white guy/black guy. If they would jus barge open my door, i can't believe when i was right there in the bed someone walked in and took what was in site. Like my laptop and keys with money inside were right there on my desk but they didnt take that. I wouldn't have cared so much but....I never hung my purse there, and i put my digital camera in there too cuz i was gunna go out the next day. AHH... first time being robbed. Now i know it can happen anywhere. It really made me paranoid now and can't trust anymore. From now on, i have to lock it even for the bathroom or anything!!

In happy news, i had fun hanging out last times with RU friends. Saturday at Makkoli's [yum yum. seafood buffet. at any buffet i used to eat till i barf -not literally!..but, till i can't walk- i only had like 3 plates..boo. what happen =/ ] and then RCC BBQ, that was ok. but it was one of my sucky days at volleyball.

ok enough typing. One more week till school ends. I can't wait to leave rutgers. I'm tired of it, i need a break. I know i'll be excited again when Sophmore year starts ~ new classes, new people, livin in the suites ~ But right now i need time away from 'something' so i can stop stressing/thinking/regreting over it. Hopefully everything will be all better Fall 2007

Fall 2007: Comp App, Inter. Chinese, Chinese Calligraphy, 20th Century Chinese Lit, and Elem. Japanese. wow a lot of asian classes.

possibly in Spring 2007: Inter. Chinese (must get it with all my friends no matter wut!), Financial Accounting, Elem. Japanese, continuing Calligraphy, and any Psych class. If that works out, i'm all set...till i have to choose my major ._.